Priorities

As I read before bed last night, after a sick mommy day where life’s priorities are suddenly seen with a clarity lacking in my healthy I-can-d0-everything days, this passage struck me regarding children:

 Jesus, too, loved hearing the children, and once it even triggered His anger.  The Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer of the universe was fuming.  His disciples were only trying to help- protecting him, guarding him from the crowds… But when Jesus saw them rebuking… the children… “he was indignant.  He said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”  If this set Him off, it gives me pause to think He’s watching us now…

A new week is begun.  Monday is a day when we set priorities, make lists, start “back to school”.  We would do well to prioritize our lives not by what seems urgent but by the kingdom of God.

The grass can grow another 1/2 inch, the floor can be quickly swept instead of scrubbed & mopped, the world will not stop if you miss a facebook update…  Instead, read your little princess the story again.  Check out the amazing lego ship (that happens to look exactly like the last one he showed you) and admire the updated super-sonic engine with force field blasters your son brings down.  Talk to your teen.  (I’m totally preaching to myself here…)

Lord, help me to pour my life into the ones you’ve given me to love.  Amen.

Raise Your Eyebrows

<- This is Michelle.  {Hi Michelle!}

Michelle is a wise, sweet, hospitable, godly woman.  When she shares a tip, I listen.

“Remember to raise your eyebrows!” she counselled me a couple of weeks ago.  At first, I was totally confused.  Is this some sort of wierd 80′s face exercise to stay youthful??  (Totally off the subject, but you MUST make time to click that link!)

No, it’s more of a biblical heart exercise along the “put off/put on” lines.  Try it now… it’s pretty hard to have a grumpy face and raise the eyebrows at the same time, isnt’ it?!  When I raise my eyebrows, it reminds me to smile.

Whether teaching or correcting the children, or just sending them on a quick errand, instructing with a smile communicates my love and gratefulness for the Lord sending them into my life.

Genesis 4- “So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. 6 The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? 7 yIf you do well, will you not be accepted?2 And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. zIts desire is for3 you, but you must rule over it.”

Don’t let your face fall- Genesis reminds us it’s an indication of your heart! Put on a smile for those you love today.

Party Shots

Last night was our “Welcome Clara” party! Georgia Anne enjoyed all 3 of her servings of the Eggplant Parmesan dinner Kim brought over. It was so very delish!! What a great way to start the party!

From Generation to Generation…

Clara is two weeks old today. We’ll have our “Welcome Clara Allison” party tonight… we’ve had fun doing that with each of the kiddos. We’ll record the children’s height on their growth chart, play some games (the Penguin Race is a staple), eat a sweet treat and dote on the new baby. I love making family memories!

Speaking of memories… this picture is of Clara’s first Sunday heading to church. I dressed her in an outfit I wore when I was a baby!! I’m *so* not a packrat, so it’s impressive that I not only still have it (thanks, Mom!) but that I remembered to put it on her while if fits!

I’m more concerned with passing on our godly heritage than passing on cute clothes- and we try to accomplish that in many ways. Some fun (welcoming babies with a family party!) and some more challenging (consisitently doing family devotions).

What special memories do you have & what do you strive to pass on to your own children? How?

~ Thoughts on Mothering~

   This article was originally published in The Creekline.

      I met a new tree today.  I stretched out on my hubby’s side of the bed to rest, so as to avoid the laundry piles on mine, and I had a whole new perspective of the preserve behind our home.  The same trees I see every day- lean pines towering over scraggly oaks and wind-blown grasses- parted like a curtain to reveal the grand dame of our preserve.  A stately magnolia with spreading branches stood elegantly in the midst of the wilderness.

This was no typical magnolia.  Believe me when I say I’m very familiar with “typical magnolias”, as are all my neighbors.  Our builders tried to create a sense of permanence and style with these trees but their cookie cutter plantings did little to enhance the beauty of our lots.  Plucked from their natural surroundings and planted in a blank expanse of grass, magnolias become leaf-dropping nuisances.  But in their element- where leaves can fall freely and branches can reach naturally without someone pruning what was never meant to be trimmed- these trees stand out and are truly, naturally, beautiful.

I see my “naturalized” magnolia as a type of motherhood.  Taken out of context- removed from a joyful home and made to fit into a hectic life- mothering becomes a chore.  Restored to the Biblical perspective of family serving together to give glory to God, mothering becomes more natural, easier and beautiful.

Let me introduce you to this month’s “How to be a great Mom” verse, John 15:13.  Greater love has no one than this, that a Mamma lay her life down for her little ones.

We aren’t supposed to add mothering to our to-do list!  Parents should be devoted first to each other, then to nurturing. If juggling all the rest seems too hectic, follow this wise counsel and lay it down.

Even without the extras pulling you in a million directions, raising children of any age is intended to be consuming.  It highlights our constant need for divine help.

Children do come with instruction manuals!  In His Word, God provides direction as well as comfort for the hard days.  “Draw near to God,” instructs James 4:9, “and He will draw near to you.”  We do this through reading the Bible & praying.

In what spare time?  Great question!  It may seem like you don’t have even one extra minute.  One friend shared that she starts first thing in the morning and when her children come into her room, she lets them snuggle near her and she reads aloud.  If they’re talkative, she asks them to go get dressed while she spends a few more minutes with the Lord before starting her day.  Another friend waits until nap-time and my techie hubby receives daily Bible readings on His computer to read when he can snatch a free moment.  You may have told your children, “No TV until schoolwork is finished!”  Have you considered implementing this same rule regarding a quiet time?

Mothering isn’t being superwoman.  It isn’t necessarily having a home-cooked, gourmet meal on the table every night or being team Mom, leading the PTO, or teaching Sunday School.  Instead of trying to be a cookie cutter supermom, lay the expectations down.  Allow yourself to flourish in what comes naturally- nurturing, loving, gently leading.

Sometimes even that seems too much.  Don’t worry, you’re not alone.  “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them close to his heart, and gently lead those that have young.” -Isaiah 40:11

Talk with Your Kids!

This article was originally printed in The Creekline.

I saw something amazing in the Dollar Store a few months ago.  I don’t remember if they had what I was looking for, but I certainly found something I didn’t expect!

A little girl walked in, floated in really, with her small arm linked through her Daddy’s strong one.  Her hair had been carefully curled and arranged, presumably by her mom, and she had the faint shimmer of lip gloss on her smiling lips.  Dad had pinned a corsage on her velvet dress and they were on their way out for a special evening together.  It didn’t matter what he picked up at the store or where they went for dinner, Daddy was giving his daughter his undivided attention and so the evening was a guaranteed success.

I’ve thought of the glimpse I had of their relationship as we waited in line together.  The parents were intentionally developing a relationship with their little girl.  They were laying a foundation for a lifelong friendship by being available, making her a priority and enjoying life together.

St. John’s children have been back in school for a month.  What does your family’s schedule look like?  Are activities balanced with rest?  Is there some “down time” scheduled to relax and enjoy one another?  September is a great time to re-evaluate and truly connect with our children, no matter their ages.

I’ve always been grateful that the Lord doesn’t give us teenagers right away.  We start with babies and are thus able to grow in wisdom as they grow up.  Think of the challenges of parenting teens- talking about budgeting, alcohol and… well… you know.  I remember when my Dad broached some of these subjects; it was so awkward!  Even though I knew Dad loved me and that he really was trying to teach and protect me, it was strange and I just wanted it to be over with.  Maybe you can relate?

Our time together felt unnatural because it was unnatural!  We did not have a strong relationship when I was younger and consequently he didn’t have a comfortable forum to bridge these more difficult topics.  After I married, Dad saw the wisdom of setting aside time to listen, talk, and play with little ones.  He couldn’t re-live my childhood but he encourages me to parent differently… to love openly and teach continually.  My hubby and I try to learn from Dad’s experience and we keep “the little things” in mind when we purpose to enjoy family time.

There is no formula for perfect children because there are no perfect children!  We can learn how to parent from successful friends, generations before us and from the Bible.  Deuteronomy 6:7 instructs parents to be the initiators whether you have tiny tots or older teens.  “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

One neighbor, Jamey, has a yummy way to make time to chat with his children; he takes one of his children out to lunch each week.  Some weeks they hit La Nopalera, others it’s the indoor playground at Burger King.  Their two year old looks forward to his lunch with Daddy as much as their sweet preteen!  This one-on-one time is creating great memories!  Equally important, he is creating opportunities to speak into their lives now and later.

It can be difficult to parent with the bigger picture in mind while listening to children talk incessantly about princesses and video games and star wars!  Talk to a parent with grown children and you’ll hear it is worth the sacrifice.  When you turn off the noise and tune in to their little lives, you lay a foundation to be built upon for years to come.

Improve Your World

This article was originally published in The Creekline.

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”  This may sound like a quote by Mother Theresa or a Peace Corps volunteer before leaving for their first mission.  Instead, it is an excerpt from Anne Frank’s diary, the young Jewish girl who spent two years in hiding before dying in a Nazi concentration camp at 15.  This challenges me.  If a girl in those circumstances chose this outlook, we- who live in the relative abundance and freedom of the United States- should each be reaching out, making a difference, and improving our world.

Parents usually spend the summer months ensuring our children have fun.  Vacations, beach days, and play dates vie for the remaining days of summer.  These things are wonderful!  Have fun with your family!  Before you fill the calendar, though, consider the words of Anne Frank and make time for selflessness, generosity, and serving.  You probably won’t have to look far to find an opportunity to help someone.  Galatians 5:14 can give you a hint, “For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

If you gather your children around the table to brainstorm on ways to improve the world, they may have a hard time coming up with ideas.  Don’t be discouraged!  You have the privilege of teaching your children to look outside their own desires!  If you are starting with a living room full of sleepy teens who have grown selfish with their time, do something to serve together before suggesting they volunteer somewhere.  Consider encouraging your older children to slip their iPod into a pocket and head outside to mow a neighbor’s yard- it will bless a busy parent as much as an elderly couple.  Texting can wait the thirty minutes it takes to mow a front yard!

Before we go any further, let me remind you that it is easy to tell our children what they should be doing to help a neighbor out.  Let’s practice what we preach… after sending your son outside to mow, surprise him by taking a tall glass of ice water or refreshing Gatorade to him.  A smile of thanks goes a long way in communicating how proud you are of him!  And even when your weeks are full, you can double an evening’s dinner recipe and later deliver to a friend to lighten her load.

I have chatted with other St. John’s County folks and heard many phenomenal ways to bless others.  Some of the teens in our church went to a nursing home last weekend.  The teens and the elderly residents both left with lighter hearts after playing some games, sharing stories and doing the hokey pokey!  Another friend saves all her maternity and baby clothes and other baby stuff and donates them to First Coast Women’s Services in Mandarin instead of selling them on Craig’s List.  A simple donation can make such a difference to a struggling new mom!

A friend who is a pastor shared an amazing story of generosity.  A family in his congregation gave the money they had been saving for vacation to a family struggling to make ends meet.  You could adapt this by skipping a meal out and giving a gift card to a family who doesn’t have that privilege often.  If you don’t know one, ask a local pastor to pass it to someone for you.  As you prepare a simple spaghetti dinner alongside your kiddos that evening, chat about other ways to bless friends and neighbors.

Improving the world doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive.  My Dad always encouraged us to leave parks cleaner than we found them; now I teach my children to pick up trash in the neighborhood and at the beach.  Making spaces beautiful adds to others’ enjoyment of nature.  Or if your child has a wonderful time at a friend’s house, teach her the skill of writing a thank you note.

You can have no greater influence on anyone’s life than on your own children!  I’ve heard it said, “more is caught than taught” and I see this in action when our two year old surprises me by sharing his little bag of cheerios with his four brothers and sisters.  That left little in his hand but the generous smile spreading between two chubby cheeks evidenced that he was receiving a greater reward!  George Bernard Shaw said, “Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family.”  When you faithfully, and lovingly care for your family, you are investing in the noblest cause possible!  Enjoy the rest of your summer making a difference together.