Scrooge was Right!

Return your Operation Christmas Child and Angel Tree gifts!  Cancel all cookie deliveries to fire stations.  No parties, no shopping, and please- do not serve a meal at the homeless shelter!!  Scrooge was right- Bah Humbug!!

The days between Thanksgiving and Christmas are among the busiest of the year.  Who has time to decorate, cook, entertain, shop, be a friend, be a daughter, bring snacks to school, be the gorgeous (and brilliant!) wife at the work party, and dress the children in perfectly coordinating outfits for the Christmas Eve service?  No thank you.  It’s just after Thanksgiving and I’m throwing in the towel.  Pass A Christmas Carol and a glass of eggnog.

Are you nodding in agreement or shaking your head in dismay?  I’d like to commend my favorite Christmas poem to both crowds*.  Yes, it’s a Christmas carol- but not Scrooge’s.  I’m taking my cue for Christmas 2010 from A Christmas Carol by Christina Rosetti. The last stanza reads:

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb,
If I were a wise man
I would do my part,
Yet what I can I give Him,
Give my heart.

Even with a recessed economy, Americans are far from poor.  Oh, but how I can identify with this stanza!!!  I often say yes to so many “good” things that I have little left to offer the King of my heart.

So the truth of it all is if I have to choose between all of those holiday activities (which are wonderful, really) and quieting my soul long enough to appreciate the essence of Christmas, well I’d have to join Scrooge in shouting, “Bah Humbug!”

I’m not really wiping my calendar clean this December.  The ghost of Christmas present shows me a picture full of hope!  I have the opportunity to choose wisely, keep my priorities in line and celebrate the birth of the Savior!  Quieting my heart is a gift I can give to myself, my family and my God.  Praying, reading Luke’s account of Jesus’ birth (chapters 1 & 2) and remembering His purpose in coming- to redeem sinful people, to redeem me!- are part of the relationship that makes Christianity unique among all religions.  What a God!  What a gift!  Merry Christmas.

This article was originally published in The Creekline.

There’s an App for That!

MUSM! CU L8R @ *$.  143!

Can you make out this text?  It reads: Miss you so much!  See you later at Starbucks.  I love you!

Deciphering texts and instant messages can be like cracking Hammurabi’s code.  All the acronyms are helpful when you know how to use them, but are utter confusion if you can’t translate and understand.

Emails aren’t exempt either.  As messages are transmitted through 2x3” screens and teeny-tiny keyboards, people of all ages are resorting to acronyms.  Perhaps you’ve read LOL (laugh out loud), BRB (be right back) or OTOH (on the other hand) in an email and stared, clueless, at the screen before figuring out the meaning through context.

My hubby has been a computer student & then programmer for our whole marriage, so changes in technology are constant here.  We used 143 (I love you!) and other beeper codes back in high school (remember those days?!).  As his time on the computer increased, it was completely natural to segue to IMs and texts, adding LOL, UCM (you call me) and so many others to our messaging vocabulary.  ROTFLOL (rolling on the floor laughing out loud) was the upgrade when something was *really* funny.  These quick phrases made it easy to share a thought and saved quite a few strokes on the keyboard!  So is ROTFLMAO something even funnier still?  No, when I saw that one (rolling on the floor laughing my *** off), I realized there is a side of messaging that is crass.  And believe me, it gets worse!

It is important to remember the meaning of the words behind these abbreviations and to train our children to be careful in choosing their words- spoken and typed.  A glance through your child’s cell or iPod text history (yes, you can text through an iTouch app) may be helpful in instructing them to use words wisely.

Let me be clear, this is not a witch-hunt!  As a parent, it is your responsibility to teach and train your children- youngsters and teens.  When looking at texts and emails, remember that they may innocently be using phrases that are unkind or inappropriate.  But we should also be aware that our little angels may be using texts to say things they would never say aloud or to hide true intentions!

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” -Psalm 19:14  This passage from the Bible reminds us that our words are important to the Lord and need to be carefully chosen.  It also points out that what is done seemingly in secret- meditations of our heart- is known by Him.  Let’s teach our children to carefully choose their words, thoughts and texts!  Let’s seek to please our Maker and be honoring to our friends and classmates.

Boundaries in messaging are appropriate.  A Jacksonville father decided not to allow his son to have unlimited texting because he felt it was an avenue that could lead to trouble.  Another parent sits down with her children periodically and reads through messages together.  My mom always said, “If your house were burning down, I’d run through the fire to go in and rescue you!”  Meaning, she would take the heat I gave her for looking at my messages if through that she could help me make better decisions and see areas of sin.  Are you willing to be a parent instead of a buddy?  It may be time to ask your daughter to sit down at the table with you and show you her texts.

When we talked about this topic, my hubby laughingly said, “If you wouldn’t say it in front of your grandma or your pastor, you shouldn’t be texting it!”  Our children know that exclaiming, “Oh my God!” is irreverent.  They shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain.  So it follows that OMG would be inappropriate to text to express surprise or excitement.

Ephesians 4:29 certainly applies.  “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”  Whether instant messaging, texting, emailing or doing any other app- let’s remind our children if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all!

This article was originally published in The Creekline.

14 Ways to Say I Love You

Dear Mommy, I love you very much.  Thank you for being a very good Mommy.  Hear is a sertificet for me to hold Clara wile you tak a nap. 

Love, Lauren

I found this note on the lunch table with a purple drawing of me and Lauren at the bottom.  Lauren had been using her spare moments during school that morning to write it and she slipped it into my spot before I sat down to eat.  I discover thoughtful notes like this on my pillow, at the school table, and on my desk regularly- it’s Lauren’s special way of saying, “I Love You!”

School is back in session and most of our lives get busier as we add assignments, sports, clubs, and other activities to our schedules.  Don’t let these things crowd out what is most important!  Every day, make a point to tell your children and your spouse how much they mean to you.

Hearing “I Love You” never gets old, but as the old Extreme song says, we need to communicate with more than words.  I love to take my young children in my arms and look carefully in their eyes before telling them, “I’m so glad the Lord put you in our family!”  Our sixth grader is a bit big to sit in my lap, though, and so I’m broadening my methods of showing my love.  This month, I thought I’d share 14 ways to say (and show!) I Love You”

1. Write a note!  Leave on a pillow, in a lunchbox, at the table, in the car…

2. Pick up a special treat that will make them smile.  (Stickers, tic tacs, silly bandz, candy bar, flowers, balloons…)

3. Stop everything you’re doing, look into your child’s eyes and tell them how much they mean to you!

4. Fill their closet with balloons while they’re sleeping for an early morning surprise!

5. Write a note on the mirror with a dry erase marker or lipstick.

6. Look in their eyes and smile.  Wear that smile all day.

7. Have a family party for no reason.  Publix has adorable mini cakes for around $10, I picked up the rubber ducky one, pizza bites and a movie and transformed an ordinary night into a great memory.  Make your home a fun place to be!

8. Stop and really listen when they’re talking to you.  Ask questions or smile & comment to show you’re really listening.  (Even if it’s about Star Wars.  Again.)

9. Proclaim a chore-free day!

10. Make a favorite meal.  Or a special meal.  Or serve breakfast on china.  Add candles!

11. Say only nice things to and about your children all day.

12. Take a family walk, bike ride, swim, or all kick the soccer ball around.

13. Pick up one child for a special, surprise, lunch together!

14. Cook together.

Really, the best way to show your child you love them is to really know them.  I know Timothy loves to be hugged, kissed, hold hands, picked up & spun in circles… so I do those things.  Ben loves to dream and talk and create.  I can show my love for him by listening, not being too critical, and encouraging his dreams and inventions.

September is “Back to School” for your children and for you!  Your continuing education assignment this week is to study your child.  Brainstorm your own creative ways to show your love!  Then, every day, choose from your enhanced list a special way to show I Love You!

“Knock Knock” (Be a good neighbor this 4th of July)

It was harder for Ben, 11, to nail down a favorite memory.  “Popcorn race.  No, fireworks… Oh!  I remember!  We always play
hide-and-seek in the dark with glow sticks!  Yes, that’s my favorite.”  Too many memories to choose one favorite makes a successful fourth!  Have fun celebrating freedom and making memories with your family this year.

Date Nights

Too Young to Know Better?

When my sister calls, the world stands still.  After this morning’s call, my kitchen didn’t show evidence of the world standing still, I returned to quite a mess at the breakfast table!  But whatever the mess afterwards, I love Krissy so I stop everything when she calls.

Her little son, Landon, just turned one year old.  In the past, it’s been easy to look like an expert when Krissy calls with a mommy question.

“Landon fell and bumped his head and he’s crying!  What should I do?” she may ask.  Easy!!  Snuggle him and nurse him ’til he’s happy again!

“His diaper yesterday was runny and the color was a little weird.  Is that ok?” was another question.  No problem- don’t worry about a single poop being abnormal.  Look for a pattern before you get concerned.  If he’s nursing well, wetting normally, and acting happy as usual then he’s probably a-o-k!

Today’s question was slightly more challenging.  My angelic nephew was being naughty.  He’d had a yummy breakfast, playtime with mom, and now was supposed to be playing with some toys in the kitchen while Krissy did some organizing in an upper cabinet.  The problem was, he didn’t agree with her agenda and was standing beside his Mamma screaming at her to pick him up.  Krissy wanted to know, “Is he too young to know better?”

This question is harder to answer on paper than when looking into that baby’s red face.  If it’s been years since you’ve had a little one then you may have forgotten how angrily one year olds can scream!  Grandmas- don’t bristle when I say Landon was being naughty.  Yes, he can be taught to know better!

There are many ways to prevent Krissy and Landon’s situation.  Anytime a young child will need to entertain himself for a period of time, it’s wise to spend some one-on-one time first.  Whether that is playing on the floor with a one year old before straightening a cabinet or doing special “school time” with preschoolers before schooling the big kids, spending some time together with the little ones first helps to keep a kid happy!

Attention spans of little ones is another thing to keep in mind.  I may expect my five year old to play quietly for 15-20 minutes, but if our little one year old is quiet for even five minutes I start to wonder what she is up to!  Krissy was being wise with Landon and had toys for him right beside her where she could keep an eye on him while working a bit on her task.

So if a little one has a full tummy, clean diaper, had Mommy time and has toys to play with next to Mamma but is still pitching a fit… then what?!

Tell the cutie pie what he’s doing is not ok.  I know one year olds can’t talk yet- but they understand a whole lot more than we give them credit for!  I like to get down on their eye level or pick them up in my arms and look them in the eye.  “Landon,” she might say, “Mommy is going to clean off this shelf then we’ll sit together for some play time!  Here, play with your stacking rings for a few more minutes.”  Then I’d hurry up and get to a stopping point with my chore and keep my word to him about playing together.  Next I’d do a few more minutes on my cleaning job before we took another break.  This time, we may read a book or share a snack.  The goal is to introduce him to the concept of playing alone in small increments, adding time as he gets older and used to it.

There are some things that must be done, even when your adorable little one (and most likely you!) would rather be playing.  It’s possible to train them toward this end in a positive way; save the swats for defiant days!

One closing thought- when my sister calls, I put everything on hold to give her my full attention because I love her and care for her!  I have to ask myself- Do I do that for my sweet children?!  Let them know you love them by giving them your time whenever they may need you.

Spring Cleaning

~ Thoughts on Mothering~

   This article was originally published in The Creekline.

      I met a new tree today.  I stretched out on my hubby’s side of the bed to rest, so as to avoid the laundry piles on mine, and I had a whole new perspective of the preserve behind our home.  The same trees I see every day- lean pines towering over scraggly oaks and wind-blown grasses- parted like a curtain to reveal the grand dame of our preserve.  A stately magnolia with spreading branches stood elegantly in the midst of the wilderness.

This was no typical magnolia.  Believe me when I say I’m very familiar with “typical magnolias”, as are all my neighbors.  Our builders tried to create a sense of permanence and style with these trees but their cookie cutter plantings did little to enhance the beauty of our lots.  Plucked from their natural surroundings and planted in a blank expanse of grass, magnolias become leaf-dropping nuisances.  But in their element- where leaves can fall freely and branches can reach naturally without someone pruning what was never meant to be trimmed- these trees stand out and are truly, naturally, beautiful.

I see my “naturalized” magnolia as a type of motherhood.  Taken out of context- removed from a joyful home and made to fit into a hectic life- mothering becomes a chore.  Restored to the Biblical perspective of family serving together to give glory to God, mothering becomes more natural, easier and beautiful.

Let me introduce you to this month’s “How to be a great Mom” verse, John 15:13.  Greater love has no one than this, that a Mamma lay her life down for her little ones.

We aren’t supposed to add mothering to our to-do list!  Parents should be devoted first to each other, then to nurturing. If juggling all the rest seems too hectic, follow this wise counsel and lay it down.

Even without the extras pulling you in a million directions, raising children of any age is intended to be consuming.  It highlights our constant need for divine help.

Children do come with instruction manuals!  In His Word, God provides direction as well as comfort for the hard days.  “Draw near to God,” instructs James 4:9, “and He will draw near to you.”  We do this through reading the Bible & praying.

In what spare time?  Great question!  It may seem like you don’t have even one extra minute.  One friend shared that she starts first thing in the morning and when her children come into her room, she lets them snuggle near her and she reads aloud.  If they’re talkative, she asks them to go get dressed while she spends a few more minutes with the Lord before starting her day.  Another friend waits until nap-time and my techie hubby receives daily Bible readings on His computer to read when he can snatch a free moment.  You may have told your children, “No TV until schoolwork is finished!”  Have you considered implementing this same rule regarding a quiet time?

Mothering isn’t being superwoman.  It isn’t necessarily having a home-cooked, gourmet meal on the table every night or being team Mom, leading the PTO, or teaching Sunday School.  Instead of trying to be a cookie cutter supermom, lay the expectations down.  Allow yourself to flourish in what comes naturally- nurturing, loving, gently leading.

Sometimes even that seems too much.  Don’t worry, you’re not alone.  “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them close to his heart, and gently lead those that have young.” -Isaiah 40:11

Thank You! {or, what to do with the kids on cold, winter days}

This article was originally published by Yours Truly (Allie Olsen) in The Creekline.

Does it sometimes surprise you which gifts your children love the most?  Like a baby who has more fun with the box than the
toy inside, children assign their own value to gifts.  Last year, a high dollar robot was tossed aside in favor of Legos and then everything was left behind when Daddy offered to play outside with a ball!

Regardless of the value (real or perceived), it is important to express gratitude to the giver.  Saying “thanks” while tearing
through the presents is not what I mean here!  At some point during the days and weeks that follow Christmas (and Birthday!) celebrations, have your children sit down and write out an old-fashioned thank you note.

Thank you notes can be as unique as the child sending them.   Ben’s most recent note was in gratitude for a tree stand someone
gave the guys for hunting.  I applauded his creativity when I realized he included a detailed story of how he scared away “the big one”.

Writing a story is one way to say THANKS in a personal way.  An artistically inclined student may pour their time into a
creative card or drawing.  Preschoolers can watercolor on heavy paper and then dictate a note for you to write over their “picture” to make it personal.

The goal isn’t to impress, the goal is to train up our children in being thankful so as they’re growing and maturing, gratitude
will come a little easier.  As your children are writing thier notes, encourage them that God can help them be creative as they do this good work!  “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” -2 Corinthians 9:8

• Say thanks for their specific present.  Not, “Thanks for the gift.”  Reference how they plan to use it.  “I’m looking forward to wearing these turquoise socks with my new white sweater.”
• Challenge children to compose a note on their writing level.  A middle- or high-schooler’s note may include favorite Christmas memories, a funny story surrounding the gift, a sketch or something else to make the note more personal.
• Finally, allow the exercise of writing to be a blessing to your child just as it will be to the recipient of the note.  If your
  elementary student finds writing a note tedious, allow him to dictate his thoughts to you while you write out the letter.  This allows him to be creative without being encumbered by slow handwriting or spelling.  Or if your older child is enjoying learning to type, this could be a great opportunity to increase computer skills!  Whether it’s a computer generated card or a Word Document note, make sure they sign their name by hand.

Favorite Toys for Christmas

This article was originally published in The Creekline.